Caprice
Shadow of my Pen.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
What's your religion?
It was a summer afternoon when Farhan, a 14 year old boy, returned home from his school. His father, being a government employee, had been transferred from Jaipur to a small town in Rajasthan. It had been a month since they had moved.
Farhan was usually sad because of the new place, new people and the fact that he had to make new friends. He missed his old friends and was mostly nostalgic thinking about the moments which he had spent with his mates.
It was his first day at the new school. That day, Farhan was sadder than usual. Signs of something gnawing at his heart and soul could easily be seen on his face. Without uttering a word, he went straight to his room.
His mother was in the kitchen making lunch for Farhan. She noticed ‘a-usually-happy’ Farhan ending the day with that frown. She went to him and cuddled and asked the reason for his sadness. He didn’t reply.
“Beta! What happened? Why are you sad?” she asked, embracing her sad son.
“Ammi, I have few questions for you. Will you answer me?” he enquired.
“Yes! I will, but, first have lunch. You must be hungry. I made your favorite dish: Rajma-Chawal.”
“No ammi. I’m not hungry for food. I’m hungry for your answers.” Farhan refused the proposal for food.
“What’s wrong, beta? Tell me. Did anything happen in your school?” she asked, worried.
“Ammi, do we belong to Pakistan?” Farhan asked in a heavy voice.
“No, beta. Who told you that?” she was puzzled.
“Your dada abu were in the Indian army. Your abu is working for the Indian government. What made you say like that?”
“Are we the ones who are responsible for those attacks in Kashmir?” Farhan shot his second question.
“What’s wrong with you, Farhan? Why are you asking all these questions?” his mom asked in little higher tone. She was furious as well as worried.
“Do we also celebrate Diwali, Ammi?” Farhan asked his third question.
“Enough, Farhan. Your questions are redundant. Go and have your lunch.” she ordered.
Farhan neither said anything nor budged an inch from his position.
“Either tell me what's the matter or change your expression. This doesn’t look nice on my sweet boy.” she said in a softer voice, trying to kill sadness from his heart.
“Ammi, today was my first day at school. I have no friends here. The teacher asked me my name. I told them. During the lunch break, a boy said to me that we are from Pakistan and that we are responsible for all those terrorist attacks in India. I don’t think so, Ammi. Why do they think that way?” he burst into tears.
“Aw, Farhan,” she hugged him, “Don’t bother so much. Grow up and you’ll understand yourself that this not the reality.” she soothed him.
“I so want to grow up, Ammi. I want to see what this world thinks about my culture, my religion, and me. It doesn’t matter to you people because you people have grown up. No one asks you whether you celebrate Diwali or not. Whether you are from India or from Pakistan. But, they ask me. In our sixth grade, we had studied that India is a secular country. Where is that ‘Secularism’? People are still fighting on the basis of their castes. I see people chained by views that make them kill others. Who is independent, Ammi? Are we independent?”
A few tears rolled down his mother’s cheeks as Farhan sobbed. She realized, at that moment, that her ‘little’ boy had grown up. He had received the understanding of right and wrong from this world, by looking at this world.
“Beta! Religions were created so that we could help each other. No religion advocates hatred and sense of inequality. We all are from the same God. It’s just that the name of the Gods vary from person to person. If you want to follow a religion, follow ‘humanism’. Allah will bless you.” Mother taught him in a simple language.
Farhan was listening to each and every word very carefully. It was clear from his eyes
that he understood the word ‘humanism’.
“Now, people’s questions don’t matter to me. I have understood my religion and my roots. I will explain this to anyone who questions me.” Farhan said and hugged his mother. It was the most knowledgeable day for Farhan where he learnt the lesson of humanity.
Farhan was usually sad because of the new place, new people and the fact that he had to make new friends. He missed his old friends and was mostly nostalgic thinking about the moments which he had spent with his mates.
It was his first day at the new school. That day, Farhan was sadder than usual. Signs of something gnawing at his heart and soul could easily be seen on his face. Without uttering a word, he went straight to his room.
His mother was in the kitchen making lunch for Farhan. She noticed ‘a-usually-happy’ Farhan ending the day with that frown. She went to him and cuddled and asked the reason for his sadness. He didn’t reply.
“Beta! What happened? Why are you sad?” she asked, embracing her sad son.
“Ammi, I have few questions for you. Will you answer me?” he enquired.
“Yes! I will, but, first have lunch. You must be hungry. I made your favorite dish: Rajma-Chawal.”
“No ammi. I’m not hungry for food. I’m hungry for your answers.” Farhan refused the proposal for food.
“What’s wrong, beta? Tell me. Did anything happen in your school?” she asked, worried.
“Ammi, do we belong to Pakistan?” Farhan asked in a heavy voice.
“No, beta. Who told you that?” she was puzzled.
“Your dada abu were in the Indian army. Your abu is working for the Indian government. What made you say like that?”
“Are we the ones who are responsible for those attacks in Kashmir?” Farhan shot his second question.
“What’s wrong with you, Farhan? Why are you asking all these questions?” his mom asked in little higher tone. She was furious as well as worried.
“Do we also celebrate Diwali, Ammi?” Farhan asked his third question.
“Enough, Farhan. Your questions are redundant. Go and have your lunch.” she ordered.
Farhan neither said anything nor budged an inch from his position.
“Either tell me what's the matter or change your expression. This doesn’t look nice on my sweet boy.” she said in a softer voice, trying to kill sadness from his heart.
“Ammi, today was my first day at school. I have no friends here. The teacher asked me my name. I told them. During the lunch break, a boy said to me that we are from Pakistan and that we are responsible for all those terrorist attacks in India. I don’t think so, Ammi. Why do they think that way?” he burst into tears.
“Aw, Farhan,” she hugged him, “Don’t bother so much. Grow up and you’ll understand yourself that this not the reality.” she soothed him.
“I so want to grow up, Ammi. I want to see what this world thinks about my culture, my religion, and me. It doesn’t matter to you people because you people have grown up. No one asks you whether you celebrate Diwali or not. Whether you are from India or from Pakistan. But, they ask me. In our sixth grade, we had studied that India is a secular country. Where is that ‘Secularism’? People are still fighting on the basis of their castes. I see people chained by views that make them kill others. Who is independent, Ammi? Are we independent?”
A few tears rolled down his mother’s cheeks as Farhan sobbed. She realized, at that moment, that her ‘little’ boy had grown up. He had received the understanding of right and wrong from this world, by looking at this world.
“Beta! Religions were created so that we could help each other. No religion advocates hatred and sense of inequality. We all are from the same God. It’s just that the name of the Gods vary from person to person. If you want to follow a religion, follow ‘humanism’. Allah will bless you.” Mother taught him in a simple language.
Farhan was listening to each and every word very carefully. It was clear from his eyes
that he understood the word ‘humanism’.
“Now, people’s questions don’t matter to me. I have understood my religion and my roots. I will explain this to anyone who questions me.” Farhan said and hugged his mother. It was the most knowledgeable day for Farhan where he learnt the lesson of humanity.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
An E-Breakup
Rahul came late from his office. It had been a pathetic day for him. His boss, because
of some unforeseen reasons, terminated him. He had some family issues which were
resounding in his mind. He wasn’t upset because of all these incidents but may be
because he hadn’t seen any defeat in his life. He took out his laptop from his bag and
opened up his e-mail ID.
He had several problems with his girlfriend, Divya, which were adding fuel to the
fire. He didn’t want to end everything with her, as there were three reasons for that.
-First, they were in relationship since a long time and it wasn’t easy for him to leave
things unsettled.
-Secondly, he didn’t have the guts to call her and say all this.
-Thirdly, he was deeply in love with her.
So, he finally decided to write an e-mail to her.
“Dear Divya
It has been a long time since we have been together and needless to say that we
have shared great moments. But, you know, these days, things are not working as
we thought. We both are miles apart and it’s not that easy for us to survive in these
conditions. So, I think it’s better if we decide mutually what could be done. It’s hard
for me as well to decide something on which our life is dependent.
I miss all those times when we used to have to night-long chats or when you were
upset, I used to make you laugh with my silly thoughts. But, I guess, it’s all over
now. I think we should move on. I hope you understand. I’ve always loved you and I
always will.
Bye.
Rahul.”
He turned off his laptop and cell-phone and left the things on the table.
*********
“Someone is knocking at the door. Go and see.” a feminine voice reached Rahul’s
ears.
A girl younger to him opened the door,
“Yes?” she enquired politely. “I’m Rahul. Is Divya at home?” he asked. “Why
have you come here?” her tone became irritated voice.
Divya must have had told her about that e-mail.
“Something important. Please tell me where she is. I want to meet her.” he said in an
earnest voice.
She deliberated for a few moments and then let him in and led him to Divya’s room.
“You better keep it short.” she warned and left.
Divya was sleeping at that time. He slowly walked up-to her bed. He noticed her
pillow was wet; she had probably cried all day and all night ever since she received that e-mail. And finally, when tears dried up in her eyes, she left the grudge of losing him and slept.
He looked at her beautiful face, partially covered with her long black hair. Pain of losing someone could easily be seen in her swollen eyes.
“Hey! See, who is here.” he nudged her gently to wake her from the dreams she was
knitting.
of some unforeseen reasons, terminated him. He had some family issues which were
resounding in his mind. He wasn’t upset because of all these incidents but may be
because he hadn’t seen any defeat in his life. He took out his laptop from his bag and
opened up his e-mail ID.
He had several problems with his girlfriend, Divya, which were adding fuel to the
fire. He didn’t want to end everything with her, as there were three reasons for that.
-First, they were in relationship since a long time and it wasn’t easy for him to leave
things unsettled.
-Secondly, he didn’t have the guts to call her and say all this.
-Thirdly, he was deeply in love with her.
So, he finally decided to write an e-mail to her.
“Dear Divya
It has been a long time since we have been together and needless to say that we
have shared great moments. But, you know, these days, things are not working as
we thought. We both are miles apart and it’s not that easy for us to survive in these
conditions. So, I think it’s better if we decide mutually what could be done. It’s hard
for me as well to decide something on which our life is dependent.
I miss all those times when we used to have to night-long chats or when you were
upset, I used to make you laugh with my silly thoughts. But, I guess, it’s all over
now. I think we should move on. I hope you understand. I’ve always loved you and I
always will.
Bye.
Rahul.”
He turned off his laptop and cell-phone and left the things on the table.
*********
“Someone is knocking at the door. Go and see.” a feminine voice reached Rahul’s
ears.
A girl younger to him opened the door,
“Yes?” she enquired politely. “I’m Rahul. Is Divya at home?” he asked. “Why
have you come here?” her tone became irritated voice.
Divya must have had told her about that e-mail.
“Something important. Please tell me where she is. I want to meet her.” he said in an
earnest voice.
She deliberated for a few moments and then let him in and led him to Divya’s room.
“You better keep it short.” she warned and left.
Divya was sleeping at that time. He slowly walked up-to her bed. He noticed her
pillow was wet; she had probably cried all day and all night ever since she received that e-mail. And finally, when tears dried up in her eyes, she left the grudge of losing him and slept.
He looked at her beautiful face, partially covered with her long black hair. Pain of losing someone could easily be seen in her swollen eyes.
“Hey! See, who is here.” he nudged her gently to wake her from the dreams she was
knitting.
She woke up with a start. Eyes still groggy, she tried to figure out who was sitting
next to her. She must have thought it was a dream as she tried to touch his face to
confirm. She was looked cute and innocent.
“Why have you come here?” she asked the moment her sleepy senses caught up.
“For you.” He replied.
“Oh, yeah? What not? What about that e-mail?” she enquired.
“It was mandatory. Or how would I have been able to see this sad-cum-surprised expression on your face?” he laughed.
“I’ll kill you.” She hugged him and cried.
“Stop crying and get me a cup of coffee. It was a long journey.” He laughed again.
And, the third reason prevailed till eternity.
Friday, September 16, 2011
I ain't your enemy and not your friend.
The other day I was walking outside my home,
a bit of cold it was, in its early form.
Suddenly, someone trespassed my fence,
Needless to say, It was an offense.
I ran behind him and he stopped,
a bit of cold it was, in its early form.
Suddenly, someone trespassed my fence,
Needless to say, It was an offense.
I ran behind him and he stopped,
Staring at me and I was provoked.
I asked rudely “Who the hell are you?”
“How dare you came in, It’s my property, You knew”.
He removed his hoodie and showed me his face,
“I’m your exam-paper, boy. Let’s embrace.”
I asked rudely “Who the hell are you?”
“How dare you came in, It’s my property, You knew”.
He removed his hoodie and showed me his face,
“I’m your exam-paper, boy. Let’s embrace.”
I said “Oh that’s how ugly you look,
“Put back the fun in my life, which you took.”
“Since my school, you resided with me”
“Put back the fun in my life, which you took.”
“Since my school, you resided with me”
I don’t think, such good friends are we.”
He was laughing as if he was mocking,
he continued and I was talking.
“Okay! Now, I have an option” I said
“Let’s accept it. Nevertheless you are bad.”
“Do me a favor and show me your face,
A day before exam, we should meet at my place.”
“See mate! You have sucked enough of my blood,
if you would help me, that won’t cause any flood.”
“I’m deprived of my good old sleep,
“Okay! Now, I have an option” I said
“Let’s accept it. Nevertheless you are bad.”
“Do me a favor and show me your face,
A day before exam, we should meet at my place.”
“See mate! You have sucked enough of my blood,
if you would help me, that won’t cause any flood.”
“I’m deprived of my good old sleep,
And just because of you, I weep.”
“It’s a final warning to you, my friend,
just chuck this old blood-sucking trend.”
“You help me and we can be best,
“It’s a final warning to you, my friend,
just chuck this old blood-sucking trend.”
“You help me and we can be best,
We help each other and forget about the rest.”
Now the evil spoke.
“Your words were enough to provoke.”
“I can’t help you in anyway.
It’s just you who has to hold the tray.”
He walked down with his middle finger up,
that evil’s words made me shut-up.
“I can’t help you in anyway.
It’s just you who has to hold the tray.”
He walked down with his middle finger up,
that evil’s words made me shut-up.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
God! I'm your boy.
Dear God
I don’t know who you are, Where do you stay,
I only know that, to you, daily, we pray.
Mom told me you are mighty enough,
I don’t know who you are, Where do you stay,
I only know that, to you, daily, we pray.
Mom told me you are mighty enough,
To good, You are good. To criminals, You slay.
Dad used to take me to the temple every Sunday,
but this time, we were away.
Mom told that dad is with you now,
Dad used to take me to the temple every Sunday,
but this time, we were away.
Mom told that dad is with you now,
and will come soon and bring my toy.
Like every morning, Dad came near my room,
swept all the worries from my face with smiling broom.
He hugged me and kissed me on my forehead,
and in reply, I said “Good Bye Dad”.
Like every morning, Dad came near my room,
swept all the worries from my face with smiling broom.
He hugged me and kissed me on my forehead,
and in reply, I said “Good Bye Dad”.
He said “I’ll get candies for you”
for me that was ample to woo.
He left with a smiling face,
for me that was ample to woo.
He left with a smiling face,
It looked good, as he used to embrace.
I played with my toys,
in park and with next-door boys.
But then, Mom received a phone-call.
A call that made her fall.
I couldn’t ask her why she was crying.
I played with my toys,
in park and with next-door boys.
But then, Mom received a phone-call.
A call that made her fall.
I couldn’t ask her why she was crying.
She couldn’t speak but she was trying.
She hugged me and said, “Your dad loves you.”
I said I love him too.
She said, 'He’ll not come soon'
And he didn’t come till next noon.
Then, after a while, Mom said which shook me away,
‘Your dad has gone, where only angels stay’.
I said ‘let’s go there, Do you know the way?’
I don’t know why she started crying again,
But I could see that immense pain.
God, I’m just a six-year-old boy,
I don’t know about the problems in this world
I remain busy with my toy.
I don’t know about wars and bombs,
She hugged me and said, “Your dad loves you.”
I said I love him too.
She said, 'He’ll not come soon'
And he didn’t come till next noon.
Then, after a while, Mom said which shook me away,
‘Your dad has gone, where only angels stay’.
I said ‘let’s go there, Do you know the way?’
I don’t know why she started crying again,
But I could see that immense pain.
God, I’m just a six-year-old boy,
I don’t know about the problems in this world
I remain busy with my toy.
I don’t know about wars and bombs,
I just know, it’s not a thing for joy.
Bring me my dad, I request thee,
Because he said he will bring candies for me.
Bring me my dad, I request thee,
Because he said he will bring candies for me.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Who is Amit?
It was a foggy early morning when I reached the Lajpat Nagar bus stop to catch the 7 am bus to my office. My working hours began from 8 am. This was the first stop from where the bus picked up everyone. Till South-Ex, the bus was virtually vacant, with only three or four passengers.
Stuti, my colleague and my friend, used to travel with me. Stuti and I had been working together for the past 2 years. I was in love with her but I did not have the courage to tell her how I felt. While leaving home that morning, I had decided to talk to her about it. I hadn’t slept the whole night planning, canceling and planning again how I would go about it.
I looked at my watch, there was hardly any time left for the bus to leave and there was still no sign of Stuti. She was never late. I was cursing my fate under my breath. And then, she came. I thanked God in the next breath. That day, she was wearing a black dress with little red flowers on the hemline.
“Hey, Sumit!” she smiled, settling in the vacant seat next to me.
The bus started with a jolt and the engine groaned as the driver shifted the gears.
We both laughed.
This was so easy, being friends.
We both laughed.
This was so easy, being friends.
“Hey!” I grinned at her.
“Flowers?” she exclaimed touching the bunch in my hands, “For whom?” she enquired.
“For you,” I said hesitatingly and offered them to her.
“For me? What’s so special today?” she asked.
Girls try to fool boys by asking rhetorical questions but pretending that those are actual questions to which they want an answer.
“For you,” I said hesitatingly and offered them to her.
“For me? What’s so special today?” she asked.
Girls try to fool boys by asking rhetorical questions but pretending that those are actual questions to which they want an answer.
“A poor little boy was selling them at a traffic signal that I crossed. I was moved and bought them.” I laughed at my own silly joke.
“Oh! Samaaj sevaa mein lage ho aajkal?” she giggled.
“Oh! Samaaj sevaa mein lage ho aajkal?” she giggled.
“Very funny.” I rolled my eyes.
“Okay, now tell me. Why have you got flowers for me?” she demanded solemnly.
“Er... um...” I stalled, while she looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
I turned my face and looked outside. Everything was so calm, so serene.
Everything, except my mind. Thousands of thoughts ran uncontrollably. How would she react? What if she says no? What would be the name of our kids if she said yes? What if stops talking to me altogether?I shuddered at the last thought.
Everything, except my mind. Thousands of thoughts ran uncontrollably. How would she react? What if she says no? What would be the name of our kids if she said yes? What if stops talking to me altogether?I shuddered at the last thought.
“Are you alright? Are you cold?” she questioned, concerned, “Why don’t you just close the damned window?” she grumbled and fidgeted with the old glass, puffing and sliding it with all her strength.
Her sudden proximity sent me into a frenzy. My mind and my heart shut down. I closed my eyes, taking in the sweet fragrance of her hair.
Her sudden proximity sent me into a frenzy. My mind and my heart shut down. I closed my eyes, taking in the sweet fragrance of her hair.
“Helloooooo!” Stuti said in a sing-song voice and I came back to my senses.
“Something wrong?” she asked again.
“Something wrong?” she asked again.
“Uh, no...” I tried to get a grip on myself.
“So, um, you were supposed to tell me something.” she said authoritatively.
“Uh, yeah... I was saying that, er, it’s been long that we’ve been together, er, sorry, I mean working together.” I started blabbering. I had always sucked at expressing feelings.
“Hmm... It’s been two years, two years and four months and well, seventeen days to be precise.” she continued in the same vein, probably to humor me, but the fact that she knew the precise duration astonished me.
“Uh, yeah... I was saying that, er, it’s been long that we’ve been together, er, sorry, I mean working together.” I started blabbering. I had always sucked at expressing feelings.
“Hmm... It’s been two years, two years and four months and well, seventeen days to be precise.” she continued in the same vein, probably to humor me, but the fact that she knew the precise duration astonished me.
I wondered if she had some feelings for me. Somehow, I felt encouraged.
“Listen, I do not want to hurt you, I do not want you to, you know, take this the wrong way. Do not misunderstand me but, I’ve been thinking about you a lot, lately.” I said, the words all rushed. She probably did not understand a word.
She stared at me for a few seconds, possibly comprehending my retarded reply.
“Even I think about you, you are my best friend.” She said simply and smiled as though that had settled everything.
“Er, I did not mean it that way.” I began.
“Oh?” she said, her perfect lips in the shape of an ‘O’.
“Oh?” she said, her perfect lips in the shape of an ‘O’.
“I mean,” I took a deep breath, “I mean, I am in love with you, Stuti.”
“Oh.” she said again, but the tone was changed and her forehead wrinkled as she went into her thinking mode.
My heart sank. She did not speak for a few minutes and I did not dare to open my mouth. I chanced furtive glances at her but there was no change in her expression.
There you go. You’ve done permanent damage. She is not going to talk to you ever again. My inner voice said angrily.
“Listen, Sumit,” she started after a killing silence of four minutes, “I don’t know how or why I did not tell you but, the thing is, I got engaged.”
“Oh.” was all what I too could manage.
“Oh.” was all what I too could manage.
She was quiet then. I knew she must’ve heard the disappointment in my ‘oh’. She was good at observing such things. I could not bear the silence.
“Er, engaged to whom?” I asked.
“Amit.” She informed.
“Alright. No problem.” I said giving her a small smile.
“Amit.” She informed.
“Alright. No problem.” I said giving her a small smile.
“No problem? Are you sure?” she asked, apprehensive.
“Positive.” I smiled some more to make her feel better.
“Positive.” I smiled some more to make her feel better.
She then went on to give me details, but I wasn’t listening any longer. I was out of her life. Actually, I had never been in her life, not the way she was in mine, at least. The future that I had dreamt was shattered.
“And, I am not gonna listen to any excuses, okay?” she smiled.
I looked at her, utterly perplexed. I had not paid even the slightest attention and I did not have the faintest idea what she was saying or even why she was saying whatever she was saying.
“Sorry, what did you just say?” I asked.
She rolled her eyes.
“I said it’s my wedding next month and you’ve to be there. You are the first person I am inviting.” she gave a brilliant smile.
“Sure, yeh bhi koi kehne ki baat hai?” I said to pacify her.
I gave her one last fake smile put my head against the window pane and closed my eyes.
“Hey, Sumit?” I heard her call out again after a few moments.
“Hmm?”
“Hey, Sumit?” I heard her call out again after a few moments.
“Hmm?”
But she did not speak. Instead, she was shaking me by my shoulders.
My eyes flew open. “Wha-!?” I looked around, confused.
Stuti was the one who had been shaking me.
“But who is Amit?” I demanded in a croaky voice.
She was smiling, like always.
“Sorry?” she asked.
“Sorry?” she asked.
It was then I noticed that she was wearing a BEIGE dress and that the flowers were still in my hand. I had slept waiting for her.
“You had dozed off, Sumit.” she giggled.
I smiled and then laughed, more out of relief than embarrassment.
I smiled and then laughed, more out of relief than embarrassment.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
First love :)
18 June 2006:
It was a Sunday. I had come back from my weekly cricket tournament. My younger brother, Dheeraj, was watching his favorite epic, Mahabharata, along with my dad. Dheeraj signaled me with a gesture of eyes and neck to inform me that Dad was furious because of my below- average internal exam results. I ignored him.
“Mummy! Can I have something to eat? I’m starving.” I called out while throwing my shoes and socks on the floor.
“Yes! Prince Charles has come. Give him some royal breakfast. See how much he works,” dad said in a voice dripping with sarcasm
“Please do not start now. Let him eat something.” mom intervened.
“Yeh tumhaare laad- pyaar ka hi nateeja hai.” he muttered.
This was a daily scene at my home. I rolled my eyes and went into my room.
I turned on my desktop computer while thinking about whatever dad had said. After mindlessly surfing a few porn sites, I thought of chitchatting in the Yahoo Chat rooms.
Back then, Yahoo chat rooms were famous for helping guys in hooking up with girls.
I clicked on the ‘Delhi-24’chatroom. As usual, I said “hi” to every girl from Sonia to Pooja to Kavita and as usual I never got a reply. I cursed them for not responding.
Stupid girls. What’s the point of being here when you do not want to chat? I thought to myself.
I got up and went into the kitchen to get something to eat.
It being a hot summer afternoon, my mom, dad and brother were taking a nap in their respective rooms. I stuffed myself and brought a bag of chips to my room.
When I sat before my PC again, to my surprise, I found that a girl named “Kiran
Sahni” had sent me an instant message, “Hey! ASL?”
ASL was the much-in-vogue acronym for Age, Sex and Location.
“Hey! 18/M/Jaipur. And, you?” I replied quickly.
“18/F/Delhi.” She typed back.
I did not belong to Jaipur, it was just a statement to make an impression on a
Metropolitan girl that I too belonged to a metropolitan city.
“My name is Kiran. And you?” She asked. “I’m Jatin.” I replied.
“Hi Jatin,” she wrote back, “Glad to meet you. I’m new here and want to make some good friends.”
I smiled to myself, forgetting dad’s taunts.
Without thinking much, I quickly professed, “I’ll be your friend.”
We chatted for more than 2 hours discussing what we were presently doing, what our future plans were and the like.
“Oh! My mom is here. I have to rush. See you tomorrow. Same time. Bye.” It was her last message and she went offline.
She didn’t give me a chance to say goodbye to her. But I was happy because it was the first time that a girl had that long a chat with me. Unlike my schoolgirls, she was interesting, funny (and beautiful I hoped).
The next day, I was online even before the clock struck 3. I was waiting for her, feeling restless and continually glancing at the clock. I was not interested in anything else. The last time I had checked the clock, it had been 3:25 pm. I was losing hope. It was 3:30 pm when a message finally flashed on my screen, “Hey! I’m back.” It was she and I felt my lips curve into a smile.
*****
20 July 2006:
My school had re-opened. It was for a month now that I had been regularly talking to Kiran. We had shared many secrets including my virginity, the off and on conflicts with my dad and so on. She had told me about her life in Delhi, how the guys viewed her, her passions, her desires, her crushes, her friends, etc.
“Why can’t all the guys be more like you, Jatin? :(” It was a rhetorical question and it flattered me.
“Really, you are a good guy and I can consider you my best friend. :)” she continued.
Great, now I can ask her to my girlfriend, the desperation in me said.
“I wanted to ask you something...” I wrote. “Sure, go ahead.” “Um. I don’t know how you’d take it, but...” I continued.
“What is it, Jatin?” “Um...” “Don’t be shy. Tell me.” She urged.
“Okay. But promise that you won’t mind?” I requested.
“I won’t. Now tell me.”
“Um... I was wondering if we could you know, chat via SMS instead of here?”
“So this was what you wanted to say?” She replied.
“Do you mind?” I was scared.
“Buddhu! :P” came her answer.
Guys have a theory that if a girl calls you Buddhu, stupid, silly, etc. it is a positive sign. I was smug inside.
“Here is my number. Text me.” she continued.
I rushed towards my cell phone and checked my balance. I had only two rupees left which I had been using to ‘miss-call” my friends. Without bothering more about the balance, I text messaged her, “Hey! Jatin here. ;)”
That marked the end of the ‘yahoo chatting’ for us and we moved on to chatting day in and day out via sms. We used to exchange 100 to 200 or even more text messages a day. It had raised my mobile expenses by three times which consequently increased my dad’s comments also by three times.
*****
July melted into August without any change in our chatting routine. It was like I just could not get enough of her.
“Pehla Nasha, Pehla Khumaar... Naya pyaar hai, naya intezaar...”
This old Aamir Khan number seemed in tune with the state of my heart and my cell phone and I were always humming it.
Anuj, my next- door neighbor who was also fortunately my best friend and unfortunately a topper in my class, came to my house. He found me lying on my bed, singing that song and staring into space.
“Hey! Kya baat hai? You seem so happy!” he said smacking my arm.
“Have you ever fallen in love?” I questioned him.
“Mere baap ko jaanta nahi hai tu? He’d kill me.” He replied sitting down.
I laughed out loud.
“Anyway,” he began, “Are you free?”
“Yeah, but why?”
“My dad has gone out of town for two days and I get to use his bike. So let’s go for a drink.”
“Paise nahi hai yaar” I grimaced.
“Koi na. Dad gave me 200 rupees. We’ll settle it later on. Let’s go for now.,” he said pulling me off the bed.
We were at Canteen. Canteen was an inconspicuous place for drinking. It was a busy place during the day and virtually empty at night. People hardly came there after 6 pm.
We settled on our favorite benches with a couple of bottles and snacks.
“Wah! Life ho to aisi.” Anuj cheered.
We took a swig from our bottles while chattering about inconsequential things.
The conversation steered to the topic of girls. “So, Anuj...” I began. “Hmm?” he mumbled while drinking.
“Have you ever loved someone?” I asked.
“Kya baat hai? Aaj baar baar yehi pooch raha hai?” He winked at me.
I blushed.
“Oye hoye!” he teased, “Now tell me what’s up with you.”
“Actually... For the last two months, I have been talking to a girl from Delhi named Kiran Sahni.” I told him.
He whistled.
“And, I think I am in love with her.” I blushed again.
The empty beer bottle fell from his hands, “Are you serious?”
“Yes... I mean…I do like her a lot.” I admitted.
“K-k-k-Kiran!” he mimicked SRK from the movie Darr and burst out laughing.
“Cut it out, Anuj!” I said embarrassed.
He continued laughing but something in my expression made him shut up.
“So have you ever seen her?” he asked solemnly.
“Yes, she had shown me her photo recently.”
“What does Bhabhi look like?”
Guys have another theory: if any of their guy friend has a crush or something of that sort, she automatically becomes their Bhabhi.
“She’s beautiful,” I began, “She has long, black, shiny hair... big brown eyes and coral lips... She’s making me crazy, Anuj.” I blurted out.
He guffawed.
“What?” I asked angrily.
“And, how do you think she feels about you?” he asked smirking. “I guess she likes me too.”
“Then I can assume she has not seen YOUR photo.” he said laughing like mad while I frowned.
*****
One sultry August night at the dinner table, my dad mentioned that he was planning to go to New Delhi soon for some work. My heart started beating in the top gear. It would be a good chance for me to go to Delhi and meet Kiran. I better not let this opportunity slip away.
“Dad, I think I should go to Delhi and buy the material that you need.” I suggested.
“Why?” he asked, suspicious.
“Dad, you know how all this traveling aggravates your backache.” I replied seriously.
“Don’t you have your school and coaching classes?” He said with a raised eyebrow.
“Don’t worry, dad, I will manage.” I said confidently.
“Bhaiya seems too excited to go to Delhi...” Dheeraj wondered out loud and I glared at him.
“I’ve to become responsible sooner or later, Dheeraj.” I said calmly.
Mom and dad exchanged confused glances.
“Okay! You can go. But make sure you buy the right stuff.” Dad finally gave in. “Thanks, dad.” I grinned.
So I was destined to reach on 26th morning. I had convinced Anuj’s mother to let him accompany me. I had informed Kiran about my arrival. She had told me that she wouldn’t be able meet me on the 26th but that we could meet on the 27th at Connaught Place. Anuj told me that his cousin and cousin’s girlfriend would also be there to meet us. I did not object but I was apprehensive lest it should spoil my first date.
*****
27th August 2006:
The day when I could meet Kiran finally dawned. I had not been able to sleep much and when I woke up, it was only at 6 am. I had spent most part of the night thinking about her. I got up and stared outside through the window but I did not see anything because my mind was somewhere else. The time seemed to be moving slowly, like it wanted to vex me. I got ready and woke up Anuj as well. We left at 9:45 am and I informed Kiran as we left so that she would reach on time.
We reached at 10:45 am.
Fifteen minutes more, Jatin. I said to myself.
Those 15 minutes were the longest, the toughest of my life. My heartbeat was like the Sensex- some times high, some times low. I was looking at each and every girl in the area, wondering if she could be Kiran. I had lied to Anuj when I had said that she had shown me her photo. I admitted the truth with five minutes to go.
He let out a whistle, “You are unbelievable!” he exclaimed.
I shrugged and he smiled so I knew I was forgiven for it.
My phone beeped notifying me that I had received a text message. It was from Kiran intimating that she would be late by 15 to 20 minutes. That miffed me.
“Here I am, dying waiting for her and she is gonna be late.” I frowned.
But then, the thought of meeting her was making me dizzy with excitement.
It was all so inexplicable. My phone beeped again and I nearly had a heart attack when I read the message.
“Where are you?” it read.
I messaged her back, explaining where I exactly I was and what I was wearing so that she could recognize me..
“Okay. Reaching there in 2 minutes.” came her reply.
Anuj and I were looking at each other. I was tongue-tied but my face said everything- the apprehension, the enthusiasm, the fear, the hope. I had even bought fresh roses for her as suggested by Anuj.
“Jatin?” I heard a melodious voice from the back.
I turned around and saw a girl, a bit different from my fantasy- long, shiny but brown hair and big but black eyes.
She was gorgeous. My heart skipped a beat.
“I’m Kiran. Your Yahoo friend, Kiran.” she said extending her right hand.
I shook it, smiling at her, “Glad to finally meet you.”
She smiled, giggled, snickered and then began laughing.
I was perplexed.
A guy with muscular build who had been standing a few feet away walked up to us and stood next to me, snickering.
I looked at Anuj who hi-fived that new guy.
“Mission accomplished, Nitesh.”
They all joined in the laughter while I stood watching their smug faces feeling angrier by the second.
“What the hell is going on, Anuj?” I frowned.
“Let me explain. Long story short, we made a Bakra of you.” Kiran laughed. “What do you mean?” I questioned, shattering inside.
“I’m not Kiran. My name is Tanya and I’m Nitesh’s girlfriend. You know Nitesh, right?” She laughed again.
Nitesh was Anuj’s Delhi-based cousin, but I had never seen him before, obviously.
They elaborated everything including how they had been fooling me since ages. It was a prank conceptualized by Anuj, which was supposed to run for a week or so. But as they started enjoying it, they decided to extend it for a while.
I felt cheated and hurt but I did not say anything. I decided to take it good-naturedly and smiled at them.
We all had coffee together where they laughed some more at me among other things.
They apologized as well and Anuj questioned me again and again to make sure they had not seriously hurt me. I assured them that I was fine and over the next few hours we became best friends...
Next month, I would be going to Delhi to attend Nitesh’s wedding and there, I’ll meet Kiran, I mean Tanya. ;)
*****
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